I’ve not at all/barely slept in 3 days and I feel like shit but I’m going to manchester tomorrow and that will be really nice because I get to hang out with so many great people I haven’t seen in a little while and maybe it will make me feel better about everything
Just a reminder that you’re whole without someone else. You are not a fraction. You’re a complete master piece all by yourself and you do not need anyone else to validate your existence.
AND at the same time I still don’t even believe I am/ever have REALLY been ill, part of me genuinely believes I am making it up for attention. like even when I was sectioned I STILL thought “oh yr just an attention seeking brat”. and now cuz I’m not in the mental health services anymore because of silly moving around too much reasons it’s worse than ever. oh jeeeeeeeesus.
basically the reason I am doing bad is because I feel like I’m not capable of anything/have no skills and the reason for that is because I was really ill when I was at school and so missed my opportunity to acquire skills also because of being ill my brain doesn’t work as good as it used to so concentrating and remembering stuff is HARD. my mental illness went from from completely debilitating to a constant buzz that is sometimes incredibly intense but mostly just frustrating. I was told it will always be this way and that it will probably become debilitating again. therefore what is the point in trying to do anything when my fucking brain is always gonna ruin it? I’ve put up with this shit for as long as I can remember and I’m TIRED. it will always be the same shit over and over. I will never be useful or skilled or anything. I am just a pointless husk.